If you have ever met me, attended one of my talks, or followed my work over the years, you’ve probably heard me say the same thing again and again: stay positive. Not because life is always positive. Not because MS is easy. But because a positive mindset makes life easier to live. It helps you through the good days as an easy task and an extra smile — but even more importantly, it helps you through the difficult days.
Over more than 30 years of living with MS, I have come to believe something that I cannot prove scientifically, but I know it from my own experience. I believe my MS behaves a little better when I work with it instead of constantly fighting against it. That isn’t just a play on words — it is a big difference. Working with MS means accepting that it has become part of your life. Acceptance does not mean liking your disease. It does not mean giving up. It simply means that you stop spending all your energy wishing reality were different, and instead begin using that energy to build the best life possible with the situation you have. That is where real strength begins.
Positivity is a skill
People often think that positive people are simply born that way. I don’t believe that at all. Yes, maybe you have to have a talent — but I believe positivity is something we can practice and get very good at. Years ago, the Danish mental coach Arne Nielsson said something to me that has stayed with me ever since:
If you want to become good at something, you have to train it.
— Arne Nielsson
That sentence changed the way I think. It has changed my life. It’s a simple truth — but when you start tasting the words and feeling them, it’s a change. We train our muscles, we train our balance, we train our memory. So why shouldn’t we train our mindset? From my own experience, learning to think more positively has made everyday life easier. It hasn’t removed my MS. It hasn’t made difficult days disappear. But it has given me another way of meeting them.
You’re allowed to have bad days
Let’s be clear. You are allowed to feel sad, to feel angry, and to be frightened. You are even allowed to swear at the world from time to time. Those feelings are real, and they are part of living with MS. The important thing is not to stay there forever. Don’t let one bad day become one bad week. Don’t let one difficult period convince you that nothing will ever improve. Your thoughts influence how you experience your life. And while you cannot always control what happens to you, you can gradually learn to influence how you respond.
A simple exercise
People often give advice. But advice is only useful if it comes with something practical you can actually do. So here is one exercise I recommend. For the next two or three weeks, spend five or ten minutes every day thinking only about positive experiences. They don’t have to be life-changing. In fact, the smaller they are, the better. Think about:
- A hug from someone you love
- A conversation that made you smile
- A good meal
- A beautiful sunset
- A great cup of coffee
- A funny moment with a friend
- Sleeping well
- Waking up with a little more energy than yesterday
- Progress in your training
- A song you love
- A walk in nature
- Someone who made you feel appreciated
It doesn’t matter what the memory is. What matters is that you allow yourself to experience the positive feeling again. Your brain doesn’t only remember facts. It remembers emotions.
It will feel strange
The first few times you do this, you may feel a little silly. You may even think: ‘This is ridiculous.’ ‘What does this guy know about my life?’ I understand that. But remember, your brain is used to following the same thought patterns it has followed for years. Changing those patterns takes practice. At the same time, we are surrounded by negative information every day. Turn on the news, and most headlines are about problems, conflict, fear, or crisis. Without noticing it, our minds become very good at searching for what is wrong. Training yourself to notice what is good is simply creating a healthier balance.
Keep bringing your mind back
Your thoughts will wander. That is normal. When they do, gently bring them back. Again, and again, and again. Just like physical training, mental training doesn’t create results overnight. But little by little, it becomes easier. And over time, you may notice something remarkable. The difficult days don’t disappear. But they become easier to carry.
Life is still beautiful
MS may change parts of your life. It may force you to adapt. It may make you stronger in ways you never expected. But it does not take away your ability to experience joy. To laugh, to love, to dream, to be grateful, to find purpose. Life is still beautiful, and never forget: life is for living. That is not blind optimism. It is a choice I continue to make every single day. And after more than three decades with MS, it is one of the best choices I have ever made.
Life is for living.
Kim Gelser
Living with MS for more than 30 years
Keep it real
Honest about the hard parts, hopeful about the rest
If Kim’s words resonate, there is more to explore about meeting life with MS honestly — and about the community of people who understand.